I will Never Learn

I wonder why some humans never learn.

Never stop.

Never realise?

I realise that it hurts - so, so much - yet I will do the thing that hurts me because in those short, rough 5 seconds, I feel a sense of satisfaction.

Why is it, that in those few very short moments it takes for us to receive satisfaction or pleasure, we will regret it for the rest of our lives?

In this instance I am not talking about sex. I am not talking about eating sweet, or utterly disgusting, fattening foods, but I am talking about plucking and eating my eyelashes.

'What?' You ask in a tone of appallment? Disgust? Shock? Repulsion, perhaps?

I have suffered from this disorder since I were 11 years old, and still in eight years time when I am close to saying goodbye to the rest of my teenage years, it is still one of the least known disorders, and still it comes back to haunt me.

But what is this disorder?

The disorder is called 'Trichotillomania, and as for an introduction, these are pictures of my eyelashes from four months ago;

Disgusting, isn't it? Even looking at these pictures makes my obsessive compulsion want to tear the rest of those disgusting, frail, wispy lashes because having none looks better than having a few strands that makes me look like an ugly, un-groomed dog.

Of course I say that all with a hint of longing and deep-seated sorrow. I miss my eyelashes. I miss them so much.

Trichotillomania is an obsessive compulsion disorder, associated with pulling hair out from wherever they would grow. The most common types are pulling the hair from your scalp and the eyelashes, but like I said, others pull hair from other places.

Satisfaction?

Unfortunately. To me, plucking my eyelashes and eating them is no different than biting my nails - I've had it for so long it's become a bad habit of sorts - an extremely bad habit.

Actually, it hurts a bit to talk about it now. So watch my youtube video.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKYpvMlzw3s

Please spread the word and tell the World about this so people may be less ignorant.